The Enlightened Despot

Having a job has not left me much time to work on the Despot, but I promise I’m doing the best I can. It recently occurred to me that I could do this a bit more efficiently if I used some of the material I have to read for work, but don’t end up getting to use there. For instance, in reading up on news about the video game industry, I scan a lot of game reviews. I have no use for them in a professional capacity, but they are often hilarious - sometimes intentionally, sometimes clearly not. Often I can’t tell. So, while it’s a little outside standard fare for the Despot, here are some excerpts. If people are amused and I continue to come across this stuff, I may return to this feature:

• “Excuse us if we dedicate this entire post to one, single screenshot. A picture — of gigantic metal death spikes protruding from Chuck’s helmet in Dead Rising 2 — is worth a thousand words, after all. Also, that bodysuit is pretty snazzy.”
• “Now, you might be thinking: “Elevator Action Death Parade? I’m already sold on that name alone!” But trust us, this Taito-developed arcade cabinet truly delivers on its namesake: elevator action and death parades.”
• “Seconds after booting up the Tokyo Game Show demo of Army of Two: The 40th Day, we managed to completely botch a hostage “rescue” operation, while brutally murdering the four terrorists involved… While it’s easy to simply accuse Ross of insatiable bloodthirstiness, his less-than-graceful approach at this scenario could be blamed on the (admittedly early) build’s choppy framerate, and the sometimes confusing controls.”
• “New Final Fantasy XIII trailer is heavy on story, light on English”

Jeffrey Toobin, the only remotely sensible person allowed to speak on television about the news on a regular basis, has a crazy idea: we shouldn’t torture Najibullah Zazi. TNR’s Michael Crowley finds this scheme tempting, but he has his reservations:

It’s a well-argued case, and I think I agree. But, let’s play Devil’s Advocate

If it were up to me, I don’t know what I would do; I would need to know more facts. I am not a proponent of torture, which I think has done enormous harm to America’s image abroad and moral fiber at home. But I ride the subways these guys may have been planning to attack and I would like to be quite sure we’ve found all of them. At a minimum, this is a  good opportunity to stress-test* the debate about interrogation techniques, because it may be that life can imitate 24 after all.

I would genuinely like to know: what does “I am not a proponent of torture” even mean here? It seems clear to me that he isn’t using a euphemism screen here (real torture is inexcusable, of course, but what’s a little waterboarding between friends?). But at the same time, he is obviously on the fence about something, and I don’t know how to interpret this such that that something isn’t the question of whether Zazi should be tortured. But if that’s right, why does he so confidently assert that he isn’t a proponent?

The most likely interpretation I can come up with is that Crowley is saying he isn’t enthusiastic about torture, and thinks we’ve done far too much of it in the recent past, but that he isn’t willing to rule it out altogether. This is a much more honest framing of the pro-torture position than one generally sees, but it is the pro-torture position. It’s not as if there are lots of people saying with a straight face “I think we should torture whomever we can, whenever we can.” Willingness to resort to torture in extreme cases to prevent major acts of mass murder is the most pro-torture position that’s on the table.

Now, not being a crazy person, Crowley disagrees with Dick Cheney about just how often that situation comes up. That speaks well of him. But - whatever some neocons might feel in their hearts - no one* has embraced a more stridently pro-torture philosophy than the one Crowley appears to be leaning toward here.

* No, commenters on Michelle Malkin’s blog don’t count.

Well, not me personally, but anyone who reports on things outside of the context of his 9-5. Schumer is one of the sponsors of the senate version of a federal shield law, which would allow journalists to refuse to testify about their anonymous sources. He recently decided to make his bill a little worse:

Previously, the Senate was working with a version of the shield law (S. 448) that defined a journalist in broad terms, focusing on the process and craft of newsgathering. That stood in contrast to the House version (H.R. 985), which passed in March and defines a journalist as someone who gathers news and information “for a substantial portion of the person’s livelihood or for substantial financial gain.”

On Thursday, according to the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) offered an amendment to the Senate version that hews toward the professional definition in the House. Under the amendment, which was adopted by the Senate Judiciary Committee, a journalist is defined as someone who:

(iii) obtains the information sought while working as a salaried employee of, or independent contractor for, an entity—
(I) that disseminates information by print, broadcast, cable, satellite, mechanical, photographic, electronic, or other means; and
(II) that—
(aa) publishes a newspaper, book, magazine, or other periodical;
(bb) operates a radio or television broadcast station, network, cable system, or satellite carrier, or a channel or programming service for any such station, network, system, or carrier;
(cc) operates a programming service; or
(dd) operates a news agency or wire service;

Unbelievable:

I’m not in the business of weighing in on debates about just where media is headed. Really, the only thing I’d put money on is that old and new media outlets will keep going under for a while now before a new set of workable business models emerge. This juxtaposition in my Reader feed amused me, though:

With the exception of this man, every serious contender for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination plus Ron Paul has started a PAC (unless you thing Newt Gingrich or Charlie Crist is a serious contender). These outfits raise money and make donations to the campaigns of other Republicans the candidate supports. Chris Good has a roundup of the fund raising and donations of each of these PACs so far this year. You can click through to see the raw numbers. Here, I’m going to perform a simple calculation and post the results without comment. Here, in ascending order, are the ratios of funds raised to funds dispersed for each candidate:

• Ron Paul: .049
• Rick Santorum: .888
• Mike Huckabee: .905
• Harley Barbour: .965
• Mike Pence: 1.036
• Eric Cantor: 1.021
• Mitt Romney: 1.257
• Sarah Palin: 2.653!!

What? Bolding and punctuating aren’t commenting. I’m just sayin’.

Words fail:

You know a book-reading technology is doing well when illiterates adopt it. Dan Brown’s new book is flying off the virtual shelves faster than the physical ones.

Over at my day job, I have a post up featuring the first chapter of 50 Cent and Robert Greene’s new guide to success, The 50th Law. Its title refers to Greene’s earlier The 48 Laws of Power.

So, what happened to the 49th Law? Your guess is as good as mine, dear readers.

Sorry, but someone was going to say it.

You would be forgiven for assuming that any day when a senator from Iowa steps down as chairman of the agriculture committee must be a great day for agriculture policy. Certainly, no right-thinking person will miss Tom Harkin’s leadership on all things farm-related. If Harkin is a religious man, he is surely hoping that Thomas Jefferson was right when he said “those who labour in the earth are the chosen people of God”, and that it goes without saying that the earth in question is American earth; if God has much interest in poor brown people farming in poor brown countries, Harkin is in for an awkward debriefing on the other side.

Unfortunately, the structure of senate committees pretty much ensures that every paid-for chairman will be replaced by another just as bad. Or, as in this case, one that is even worse:

Lincoln is as vigorous a proponent for large farms and livestock interests (think Arkansas-based Tyson Foods) as there is in Congress. Pair her with the panel’s senior Republican, Saxby Chambliss of Georgia, and you have a powerful one-two punch for the southern perspective on agricultural policy.

The southern perspective being, roughly, the midwestern perspective minus the belief that global warming is bad. So that should be fun.

In other news, you’ll notice an unfamiliar author name at the top of this post. I am, in fact, Akhbar the Great, but from now on I’ll be posting under the absurd name ‘NC Saint’. It’s not quite as dignified, but I’ve landed a gig that could occasionally lead to my writing posts elsewhere, and my new employers refuse to believe that I am a 16th century Mughal emperor. I apologize for combining this news with an unrelated rant about farm subsidies, but King Felix says I’m not allowed to write updates about the status of the blog. But, while I’m at it, I’ll mention that regular posting here resumes now.

Really:

Either the people around him at Fox News are afraid to say anything, or they’ve resigned themselves to the fact that everyone who knows how to spell has moved on. The next logical step, of course, is for Fox to have him shot and killed on-air.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been fielding a number of questions about the status of this blog, so I’ve decided to address the issue head-on here. The problem, in short, is that no new posts have been going up. The explanation is that in my efforts to secure some sort of income in this wintry economic climate, I’ve come to the conlcusion that the solipsistic delights of writing for an audience of thirty cannot justify the time they consume. I love all thirty of you, but even a Despot has to eat.

My colleagues are similarly busy. Meiji has been securing your freedoms via various activities in Iraq - I don’t understand the specifics either, but I feel as free as ever, so clearly it’s working. Frederick has been doing whatever it is he does in his undisclosed location. Our Photoshop and finance experts are no doubt making better use of their respective talents.

None of which is to say that the Despot is finished. Like MacArthur, We Shall Return, and I suspect that, in the meantime, the political blogosphere - unlike the Phillipines - will be just fine. I doubt I’ll be able to produce much over the next month and a half, though if I see an amusing New York Post cover, you’ll be the first to know. But by early September, I expect to have rejoined the regular, documented work force (thus making a small dent in the dreary job statistics you keep reading about), and I will work regular blogging back into my routine.

For now, I leave you with the madness of Sarah Palin’s final speech as governor, first via a Wordle graphic, then via some highlights, supplemented, as always, by snark.

Brace yourselves, here we go:

The rugged rugged hardy people that live up here and some of the most patriotic people whom you will ever know live here, and one thing that you are known for is your steadfast support of our military community up here and I thank you for that and thank you United States military for protecting the greatest nation on Earth.  Together we stand.

Together we stand indeed. I hear the elitists say it differently on the east coast of these Together States of America, but they should remember that the military.

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun.  And then the extremes.  In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?  And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving  and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins.  It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future.  That is what we get to see every day.  Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.

Dadaism is the new populism.

And it is our men and women in uniform securing it, and we are facing tough challenges in America with some seeming to just be Hell bent maybe on tearing down our nation, perpetuating some pessimism,  and suggesting American apologetics, suggesting perhaps that our best days were yesterdays.

Dadaism is also the new WaitDidIMentiontheMilitary?! In case I didn’t:

But as other people have asked, “How can that pessimism be, when proof of our greatness, our pride today  is that we produce the great proud volunteers who sacrifice everything for country?”   Now this week alone, Sean Parnell and I we’re on the, um, on Ft. Rich the base  there, the army chapel, and we heard the last roll call, and the sounding of Taps for three very brave, very young Alaskan soldiers who just gave their all for all of us.  Together we do stand with gratitude for our troops who protect all of our cherished freedoms, including our freedom of speech which, par for the course, I’m going to exercise.

The course, in this case, being Sarah Palin. She has a handicap of awesome.

And first, some straight talk…

Wait, what? Just whose resignation is this? Is there going to be a part about her father working in a coal mine later?

… for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence.

Were I an accredited journalist, I would immediately get business cards printed up with the phrase ‘exerting power to influence’. Actually, I think that might already be the motto of her sponsor, the Weekly Standard.

You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy.

Because, let’s face it, we need someone respected and honest to make sure elected officials don’t mess with the cornerstones of our democracy.

Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that’s why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how ’bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quite makin’ things up. And don’t underestimate the wisdom of the people, and one other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his kids alone.

She knows whereof she speaks; I used to think it was impossible to go wrong underestimating the wisdom of the people, until John McCain announced his running mate.

Our founders wrote “all political power is inherent in the people.  All government originates with the people.  It’s founded upon their will only and it’s instituted for the good of the people as a whole.”  Their remarkably succinct words guided us in all of our efforts in serving you and putting you first, and we have done our best to fulfill promises that I made on Alaska Day, 2005, when I first asked for the honor of serving you.

You know, give or take a few years.

And I promised I’d govern with fiscal restraint, so to not immorally burden futre generations.  And we did…we slowed the rate of government growth and I vetoed hundreds of millions of dollars of  excess and wtih lawmakers we saved billions for the future.

Or perhaps that’s the opposite of what happened. It all seems like a distant memory.

Let me tell you, Alaskans really need to stick together on this with new leadership in this area especially, encouraging new leadership… got to stiffen your spine to do what’s right for Alaska when the pressure mounts, because you’re going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood and here’s how they do it.  They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes.

Lock and load, Alaskans, the Olson twins are coming!

Stand strong, and remind them patriots will protect our guaranteed, individual right to bear arms, and by the way, Hollywood needs to know, we eat, therefore we hunt.

Actually, someone really should tell the Olson twins about that first part. Sorry.

And I promised that we would get a natural gas pipeline underway and we did.

Not physically underway, mind you, but pipe-related happy thoughts are up 70% since the Murkowski adminstration.

Since I was a little kid growing up here, I remember the discussions, especially the political discussions  just talking about and hoping for and dreaming of commercializing our clean, abundant, needed natural gas.

And now, finally… Moving right along.

What I promised, we accomplished. “We” meaning state staff, amazing commissioners, great staff assisting them, and conscientious Alaskans outside the bureaucracy - Tom Van Flein, and Meg Stapleton and…

It’s touching to see regular everyday Alaskans outside the administration coming together to do their part, from the governor’s attorney, right on down to the governor’s personal spokeswoman. This is what makes America great.

So much success, and Alaska there is much good in store further down the road, but to reach it we must value and live the optimistic pioneering spirit that made this state proud and free, and we can resist enslavement to big central government that crushes hope and opportunity.  Be wary of accepting government largess.  It doesn’t come free and often, accepting it takes away everything that is free, melting into Washington’s powerful “care-taking” arms will just suck incentive to work hard and chart our own course right out of us, and that not only contributes to an unstable economy and dizzying national debt, but it does make us less free.

And that’s what made Alaska great.

And we have come so far in just 50 years.  We’re no longer a frontier outpost on the periphery of the world’s greatest nation.

I don’t know how to read this other than as a smear against America (and Russia). Congratulations, Tibet, you’re the new Alaska!

Todd and I, and Track, Bristol, Tripp, Willow, Piper, Trig…I think I got ‘em all.  We will forever be so grateful for the honor of our lifetime to have served you.

One last chance for Palin to argue that her children’s travel represented legitimate state business, one more chance for me to snicker at their names.

[I]n Alaska it is not an easy living, but it is a good living, and here it is impossible to lose your way. Wherever the road may lead you, we have that steadying great north star to guide us home.

This is actually true if the road only ever leads you south to the lower 48.

So let’s all enjoy the ride, and I thank you Alaska, and God bless Alaska and God bless America.

Note that she doesn’t call for God to bless the troops. I guess she doesn’t support them.

Mark Calabria of CATO has a good post up about the SEC’s limp suggestions for improving the credit ratings system. As I’ve worried here before, no one is suggesting an end to the oligopoly of credit ratings agencies, or moves to attach less official weight to the ratings they produce:

The thrust of the SEC’s current approach is more disclosure, such as releasing “pre-ratings” that debt issuers may get before final issuance.  Additional disclosure of ratings methodology and assumptions is likely to be useless.  Almost all that information was available during the building housing bubble.  The problem is that the rating agencies had little incentive to go beyond the consensus forecasts of increasing to at most modest declines in home prices.  These same assumptions were the foundation of almost all government economic forecasting as well, yet few believe that forcing CBO or OMB to disclosure more of their forecasts will cure our budget imbalances.  What is needed is a change in incentives.

Here again the SEC seems to misunderstand the incentives at work, but then recognizing such would force the SEC to admit its own role in creating those some perverse incentives.  The SEC’s notion that agencies issue favorable ratings in order to gain business misses the most basic fact of the ratings business - they don’t have to compete for business, any debt issuer wanting to place “investment grade” debt has to use the agencies, and often has to use more than one of them.  Due to a variety of SEC and bank regulations, there is almost no competition among the rating agencies.

The structure of this system pretty much guaruntees that CRAs will do a shabby job. The past few decades have proven that that is in fact what happens in practice. They are one of the most clear-cut bad actors in our recent crisis. But beacuse they didn’t directly cost anyone any money, and because any description of what is wrong with them is bound to be fairly dry and technical, there is no populist outrage directed toward them. So the system will remain in place. Sooner or later, they will agree to put a AAA rating on some new class of not-so-surefire debt. People who can convince their investors and regulators that this is meaningful will have a strong financial incentive to convince themselves as well. And we’ll all be worse off for it.