The Enlightened Despot

Having a job has not left me much time to work on the Despot, but I promise I’m doing the best I can. It recently occurred to me that I could do this a bit more efficiently if I used some of the material I have to read for work, but don’t end up getting to use there. For instance, in reading up on news about the video game industry, I scan a lot of game reviews. I have no use for them in a professional capacity, but they are often hilarious - sometimes intentionally, sometimes clearly not. Often I can’t tell. So, while it’s a little outside standard fare for the Despot, here are some excerpts. If people are amused and I continue to come across this stuff, I may return to this feature:

• “Excuse us if we dedicate this entire post to one, single screenshot. A picture — of gigantic metal death spikes protruding from Chuck’s helmet in Dead Rising 2 — is worth a thousand words, after all. Also, that bodysuit is pretty snazzy.”
• “Now, you might be thinking: “Elevator Action Death Parade? I’m already sold on that name alone!” But trust us, this Taito-developed arcade cabinet truly delivers on its namesake: elevator action and death parades.”
• “Seconds after booting up the Tokyo Game Show demo of Army of Two: The 40th Day, we managed to completely botch a hostage “rescue” operation, while brutally murdering the four terrorists involved… While it’s easy to simply accuse Ross of insatiable bloodthirstiness, his less-than-graceful approach at this scenario could be blamed on the (admittedly early) build’s choppy framerate, and the sometimes confusing controls.”
• “New Final Fantasy XIII trailer is heavy on story, light on English”